November 22, 2009
I apologize because I feel like my blog has gotten way too “woe is me, I am sickly” in the past couple of days. Yes, I am sickly but there is no reason for woe is me at all because:
1. I’m in one of the most beautiful and my most favorite places in the whole world here in Pembe-Abwe.
2. I went snorkeling this morning in water filled with the remnants from last night’s coral spawning event and as a result saw lots of cool things like feeding butterfly fish and “swimming crabs” – small crabs with specially adapted hind claws so that they can swim along the surface of the water.
3. My baanda mates, Rachel and Lydia, continue to be ridiculously nice and understanding despite the fact that I must be the most frustrating person in the world right now due to my propensity to either fall into a nearly unwakeable sleep for hours on end at a moment’s notice or to be fighting hard not to cry because I’m just so exhausted!
4. I made it in time for food at both breakfast and dinner today. (I was too tired to get up for lunch, but Rachel even offered to save food for me – that’s how nice she is!)
5. Lisa C. continues to be wonderful as well and even let me put my useless minutes for my phone onto her phone (where they work), so that I could try to get in touch with my family again.
6. I talked to my dad briefly and he’s going to have my mom call me – I’m sure she just had a lot going on yesterday and ran out of time to call me back, but I was very irrationally worried that something bad had happened, so I’m glad to know that everyone is ok!
I’m still frustrated though because I’m just so exhausted. I haven’t been this tired since I had mono a couple of years ago and even though I try just to rest, its an uneasy sort of rest because I’m panicking about all of the things I still have to do. I think anyone who knows me knows that I’m the sort of person who likes to do things well, especially things that I care about and the work I’ve done so far on this program is important to me and I’d really hate to screw it up now but in some ways am feeling like it is inevitable at this point.
There’s just a lot left to do! On my list is:
1. An essay about the Maasai homestay
2. Enter the zebra data into the spreadsheet
3. Analyze the zebra data
4. Run stats tests on the zebra data
5. Create a power point to present the zebra research study for Dec. 3rd
6. Collect sand perch data
7. Enter sand perch data into the spreadsheet
8. Analyze the sand perch data
9. Run stats tests on the sand perch data
10. Create a sand perch power point
11. Finish my species lists for birds and mammals
12. Organize the lists taxonomically
13. Study for a quiz on the lecture topics that is happening in two days
I’m staying in from the reef tomorrow. My research partner has an independent study thing that he has to do and I’m just going to try to sleep extra and also get all of the data from our zebra studies entered into our data sheet (which is a long, slow and extremely tedious process) and maybe get my Maasai essay finished too.
I can’t help but feel a bit defeated at the moment because all of this is feeling like such an insurmountable task. Everyone is being really nice to me and really understanding, which of course I’m happy about in many regards, but it also irritates me to think that people are having to go out of their way to make things easier for me because I’m incapable of stepping up and really getting things done.
I’ve been awake for almost two hours now, so am exhausted yet again!