The recorded ramblings of an unschooled writer, aspiring biologist, amateur equestrian, ardent bookworm, avid music appreciator, increasingly addicted runner and college student spending the summer in Ely, MN.

Friday, October 30, 2009

A kinda sad feeling day...

October 30, 2009

Feeling rather sick and sad (so if you’ve actually read this far in the massive entry update, you can skip it if you want), but I feel like its important to be honest in my blog. I’m being lazy and writing the whole thing as a list, so here goes:
1. Really homesick and don’t really have a way to communicate. Cell has service and is working, but I have no minutes so can’t call or text home and tell them they can call me back.
2. Realized how much weight I really have gained on this trip just from eating too much of the wrong things. I was doing pretty well, but homesickness has definitely gotten the better of me these past couple of weeks and I’ve eaten a few more sweets than I really every should! Am resolving to make changes to fix this, hopefully before I return home, but I’m still really upset with myself for allowing it to happen in the first place.
3. Failed at going for a run this morning. Made it ten minutes before I just felt so naesuous and dizzy that I had to give up. Had to watch Alex and Laila run for almost an hour and feel really jealous of the fact that they are not getting fat and are still in shape somehow!
4. Worried about my Hadza essay. I’ve now outlined the whole thing and have written the intro (and am setting aside the evening hours, my most productive writing time to finish it), but am worried that it will not be good enough and that it won’t get a good grade.
5. Worried about my Maasai homestay some more – I don’t speak Maa and even though I will try to eat milk and meat if offered (as I know it will be), I can’t imagine that the combination will make me feel very good at all!
6. Stressing about who my partner will be for the independent bio study. Rachel, Kai, Lydia and I are the only ones who haven’t paired off yet and we are going to meet and discuss the situation, but I don’t want anyone to feel left out at all.
7. Missing my dog something terrible – I don’t know why the feeling has come on so strong all of a sudden, but I just can’t stop thinking and worrying about him.
8. Been trying to take a nap all day but it has been so loud that even with my iPod in and cranked all the way up, I haven’t been able to manage it.
9. So sick and frustrated of feeling sick.
10. Really, really wanting to talk to someone from home!

Things aren’t bad here, I’m just having a kind of hivi hivi day is all. I’m trying not to worry or get anxious, but sometimes I think its better to just set aside a couple of hours or even a whole day if necessary and get it all out of the way so I don’t have to have it drag on and on and on.


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